iAm a Dork
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: Because no matter what he does, he'll always be a dork in her eyes, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Freddie-centric, Seddie oneshot.


**Well, today I was skimming fanfics and I noticed the lack of Freddie-centric fanfics. I mostly write Sam-centric oneshots so I decided to do one for Freddie! It's a Seddie and similar in style (and ideas) to iTrust You, but different endings. I hope you like it!**

_iAm a Dork_

He's only five years old when his father dies.

One night, his father is tucking him into bed and kissing him on the cheek ("I love you, Freddie"), then the next day he's _gone _and Freddie can't find him. In desperation, he asks his mother, "Mommy, where did Daddy go?"

Tears were staining his usually strong mother's face, and she whispers, "Freddie…oh, my baby…he's gone, Freddie. He's gone."

From that moment he never questions his mother's aggressive parenting techniques because he knows she just wants to protect him, and he's fine with that.

After all, he doesn't want to die.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He complies by his mother's strict standards.

He wears the polo shirts that she forces onto him, he lets her give her the tick baths, he does everything she asks of him.

He has to be the _figure of perfection _or he will let her down.

And after seeing her broken like she was after his father died…he just **can't **do that.

He loves her too much.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He's only nine years old when his mother announces that they're moving to Seattle.

She complains that she can't take all the _memories _that Chicago holds, the memories of when Freddie was so young and innocent and his father was alive. They were a _big happy family _but now they can never, ever be that way again.

He completely agrees and doesn't complain when she packs all of his toys and clothes into a big box labeled, "FREDWARD'S BELONGINGS."

Yet he still waves forlornly as they drive away from their old house and all of Freddie's truly happy memories.

_Hello, Seattle…_

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

The day after he gets there, he meets his new neighbor.

Carly Shay is the same age as him, her brother Spencer explains. He realizes that she's _absolutely perfect _with her long brown hair and dark brown eyes. They look a lot alike, but Freddie doesn't care.

Carly doesn't seem to share the same interest in him that he shares in her. In fact, she (very politely, of course) tells him, "Freddie, I don't like you that way."

He just smiles and tells himself that one day she'll come to her senses.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

The day after, he meets Carly's new best friend, Samantha Puckett.

He extends his hand in a polite greeting and says, "It's nice to meet you, Samantha."

Instead of shaking his hand (like any normal, polite child would), she punches his arm (hard) and informs him, "DON'T CALL ME SAMANTHA!" She runs her fingers through her blonde curls and brushes them off on her jean shorts, a direct contrast to Carly's pink dress (with a matching ribbon). "My name is SAM."

"Sorry," Carly apologizes. "She's a little wild."

"I just don't like dorks here, that's all," She scuffs the toe of her sneaker against the parking lot and glares up at him. "And you're definitely a dork."

"Hey!" Freddie protests, trying, like his mom said, not to let the bully know she'd affected him in any way. "I'm not a dork."

"Sureee," She drags out the word sarcastically, kicking his leg.

Samantha Puckett is a _whirlwind _and he finds himself getting caught up in her.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

On his first day of school, he meets a small, chubby boy.

"I'm Gibby," The boy tells him, extending a fat hand with fingers like sausages.

"Fredward Benson, but you can call me Freddie," Freddie replies, tactfully ignoring the boy's chubbiness and shaking his hand.

"Okay. Wanna be friends?" Gibby asks, beaming at him.

Not knowing anyone else at his new school other than Sam and Carly, he agrees. "Sure."

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's greatest fear is _death._

Not just his own, but the deaths of others. The fear that one day, just like his dad, everyone (his friends and acquaintances and family, everyone) will perish and leave him as the sole survivor.

He _couldn't take it _(he knows that good and well).

He's also scared of his own death, not just how bad _he _will be hurting, but how bad everyone will be hurting once he is gone. He doesn't want to leave others behind either.

This is why it's his greatest fear.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie enjoys fighting with Sam.

When he's doing it, he's not little "Mama's Boy" Benson, he's _Freddie _and he has a backbone. He's able to come up with semi-witty comebacks. He can almost defend himself against Sam's attacks.

Sam can't really hurt him when they're fighting.

Because it takes _two _to fight.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie is thrilled when they begin iCarly.

Not only does he get to spend more time with Carly (his 'dream girl'), but, though he won't admit it to himself, he's actually quite glad for the time with Sam. Maybe the show will let them get along together better.

He knows Sam could be a really great friend…

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's talent is tech stuff.

He doesn't really need to be told that, but he doesn't brag about it either. It's as much a curse as a gift because he's labeled as a dork (mainly by Sam). Others label him as a dork because he joined AV club as soon as he was eligible.

But tech stuff is something he enjoys, so he doesn't (shouldn't) let it get to him.

Besides, it got him a place on iCarly.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie doesn't know what to think when Carly likes Jake.

He and Sam both dislike him, and he's a crappy singer, but Jake is the common factor that causes him and Sam to (kinda) get along. They plot and plan and Freddie's sure that these have to be some of the best days of his life.

Then Carly kisses him on the nose and he can almost envision Sam's hurt face in his mind.

What is going on with him?

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

The worst day of Freddie's life is always _the anniversary. _

On that one day of the year, both Freddie and his mom are basically depressed. Nothing cheers them up, and though Freddie knows that guys aren't supposed to cry (it's not manly), he can't help but let a few tears escape. Both Carly and Sam know, they don't bother him on this particular day.

He lies on the bed and remembers that fateful day.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie is devastated when he thinks Carly is going to leave.

Not only would it result in the loss of his 'dream girl', but also in the loss of a good friend, his 'big brother', plus their web show. He can't imagine life without Carly.

_(Well, actually, he can, but he doesn't admit that to himself). _

Without Carly, his only friends would be Sam (unless she decided he was 'too nubby' to hang out with) and Gibby, who was even more nubby than he was.

When Carly stays, he's pretty relieved.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie doesn't like Nevel.

No one likes Nevel. He's just a little kid that seems to be awfully jealous of iCarly and has a weird obsession with Carly (he tried to kiss her).

However, they do have a few things in common…

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie dates Valerie.

She's one of the few girls in this world (or so he thinks) that would want to go out with him. He can feel the jealousy steaming off of Sam, but none off the person who (he thinks) he wants to make jealous.

When he finds out Valerie was using him, he doesn't feel too much sadness like he thought he would. He wants to punch Valerie (of course). But he's a man and she's just a young girl so he wouldn't dare do anything like that.

A part of him still wonders what the show would've been like with him, Sam and Valerie…

After breaking with Valerie, Sam tells him how important he is to iCarly, then he shares a hug with Sam. Sparks fly off both their bodies. He rejoices because he thinks _maybe they're getting closer._

Then Sam gives him a wedgie, and that hope is gone.

_Oh, well, he couldn't expect any different from Sam._

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Nevel attempts to ruin the show again.

That's not the worst part for Freddie (and Sam, judging by the hurt look on her face). The worst part is that Carly calls in her _dad's _friends who are so close to Carly that they are like her uncles. Freddie's dad's friends have ignored him ever since his dad died. They plainly state that Freddie is so much like his dad that it hurts.

Freddie wishes that they would tell him stories about his dad…

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie knows he's not the only one with dad problems.

One thing that he and Sam actually have in common is that they both live with their mothers. Freddie's dad is dead, and Freddie knows that Sam's dad left when she was really young. She hasn't seen him again ever since. He knows how hard this is on the girl, though she hardly ever shows it.

Carly's dad is still alive, he's in the military. He keeps in contact with Carly and Spencer regularly, even watching iCarly whenever possible. He even comes to visit every year or so.

Carly is so lucky, though she'll never know it.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Mandy annoys Freddie to no end.

At first, she seems like an okay kid, just an innocent (yeah, right) fan that wants to be around them. Then she turns into something obsessive and vaguely scary.

Freddie wonders if that's how Carly feels about him…

He decides it's time to tone it down. He's not sure if the feelings that were driving him to be that way are still completely there anymore…

Perhaps he's starting to get over Carly.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He doesn't believe that Sam can actually not insult him for a whole week.

He notices the slight changes in the blonde though, when she's not insulting him. She begins to act a bit _insane _but a lot nicer. Instead of beating him up, she screams into lockers and pounds extra hard on Gibby. But to him, she's perfectly sweet.

At first, he thinks he could get used to this Sam. Then it starts to get on his nerves.

Then old clueless Spencer gives her money and she's right back to the old Sam again, though her insults are much less creative and hurtful because he gives her nothing to feed off of.

Which is when he finds that he actually likes the old Sam much better…

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie is annoyed when Sam gets a boyfriend.

He tells himself it's because she can get a regular partner that doesn't use her (like Valerie did to him) but a part of him thinks it could (possibly) be jealousy.

Which just isn't possible, _she's _Sam and _he's _Freddie and it could just never work.

Relief floods through him (and pity for Sam) when he finds out that Jonah tried to kiss Carly. More relief comes when Sam wedgie-bounces Jonah and they break up.

He tells himself it's because Sam's not the only one with a horrible partner.

His conscience tells him otherwise.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

When Carly and Sam are fighting for the first time, Freddie is confused.

He doesn't know what to do (_who to choose) _and he just wants them to be friends again because they are fighting over something so incredibly stupid. He hopes that soon they'll come to their senses and be friends again. Their triangle only works perfectly with three points: Carly, Freddie _and _Sam. Not Carly and Freddie, not Sam and Freddie. All three of them.

He finally gets them to make up and he's pretty much ecstatic. His life is back to normal.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie is impressed with Sam's ability to get in trouble.

He realizes that even when he tries so hard to get in trouble he just can't, and it comes so easily (naturally) to Sam that it can probably be classified as a talent. Trouble (and getting out of it) comes the opposite of _naturally _to Freddie.

He's kind of glad that's not _his _talent, though…

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He knows by now that Sam always wins.

He should've never made that bet with Sam about reading a book (it was dumb, really) because she won that too. But he never knew that Sam could _actually _read a whole book. The only book she'd ever read before that was….the Boogie Bear series.

But, she won anyway.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie enjoys fencing.

Therefore, when his mom (like everything else good in his life) wants to take it away, he continues to sneak out with Spencer to fence. When she yells at him for doing it, he just shrugs and keeps doing it. He even beats Spencer's main rival, Doug Toder, and this makes him feel extremely good about himself for once in his life.

Fencing has to be one of the greatest sports on earth.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He doesn't want to go on the date with Shannon.

Shannon's _annoying _and _clingy _and everything he doesn't want in a girl. He's glad when the date is finally over.

He also doesn't feel that great watching Sam with Reuben, even though she oh-so-obviously hates the guy.

What is going on with him?

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He doesn't like that they are both fighting over Shane.

When he sees that Sam's set up a kissing booth to get Shane to kiss her, he vaguely considers trying to kiss her (just to see what it is like) but when she glares at him and says, "Not even for a million dollars," that thought vanishes from his mind completely.

A part of him wants Sam with Shane (he knows how it would break her heart if Carly got that guy too) but for whatever reason a part of him doesn't. He tries to convince himself that he wants Sam with Shane so Freddie can have Carly but he isn't entirely convinced….

He does want Carly…right?

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He knows that Sam has pride issues.

She wants to pay them back _all by herself _or she won't feel like she actually did anything. Carly doesn't know this but she doesn't have Sam figured out the way that he does.

He still has no idea why he knows Sam better than even Carly does….but he does.

It doesn't mean anything, does it?

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's super excited to go to Japan.

At first, it's because he can finally do something without his mom tagging along- then she decides she should come too, and everything goes downhill. Kyoko and Yuki shove them out of the car and he ends up carrying Sam down the streets of Japan.

Then things start looking up. They end up winning the iWeb Award for Best Comedy and he hugs Sam for exactly 6 seconds longer than Carly.

Not that he was counting.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Sam tells everyone that Freddie's never had his first kiss.

It was a revenge for a stupid prank he pulled on her where he handcuffed her to Gibby (Sam's least favorite person, even lower on her imaginary list than Freddie). Later, she goes on iCarly and tells the whole world to cut it out and that she'd never had her first kiss either. He doesn't get why she's being so un-Sam-like and so nice to him, but he doesn't question it.

She comes out to the fire escape where he is, and they share their first kiss.

But it's just to get it over with, right?

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's mad that Nevel's back again, and so is Mandy

Both have no brains and it's extremely tiring to deal with them both at the same time.

Finally he gets their website back.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He watches as they make Sam girlier.

It's just for some stupid guy that Freddie doesn't even get along with. She looks incredibly pretty as a girly-girl but it's not _Sam. _It's not the Sam that he knows, the one that knows him, and this girly version of her is annoying to him.

He's not that surprised when Pete falls in love with Carly and breaks up with Sam. He just comforts Sam and watches as she goes back to her real self.

He's glad to have her back.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He hates her ability to do _absolutely nothing _and still pull it off.

She brings in an orange (an orange?) for her green week project and their insane teacher gives her an A. He spends _time _and _effort _on his project, as he always does, but somehow Sam still manages to do it better.

He is forced to go on the stupid Root and Berry Retreat. Sam also comes along, which makes him feel a little bit better.

He doesn't know if it's from satisfaction or just her presence there.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's not sure when he got over Carly.

It was just like he woke up one day, went over to Carly's and when he saw her he felt nothing. She was no longer the perfect girl across the hall, now she was just a friend. He knew she wasn't perfect, he'd seen her good side and her bad side. At times she was selfish, at times she was bad. Now she was just Carly, just his best friend to him.

He was actually glad for this turn of events.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He watches as Carly goes out with Griffin.

He knows that he doesn't care anymore and he's glad for this. He's happy to, instead of spending time being jealous like he once would've, make a website for Sam involving all of Sam's gross videos and stuff. He swears that girl has a stronger stomach than a bodybuilder guy.

But she's Sam, and that's what makes her Sam.

He finally backs out of the deal when Sam succeeds once again in driving him crazy to the point of near insanity.

Then Sam makes 1000 bucks off the website and gives him 1.

Carly breaks up with Griffin (because of PeeWee Babies, which he thinks is incredibly stupid. It just adds to the list of why he now knows that Carly isn't perfect) and his life is normal once again.

Or as normal as it can get.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

The first time Sam comes to Freddie for help is because of Missy.

At first, he doesn't believe her, and then he remembers how much he _actually cares about her _(though he'll never admit that to Carly) and decides to help her out.

He gives up the cruise, just for Sam.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He has to share a locker with Sam.

It's very interesting, considering he finds out that she knows more about tech stuff than he knew. There's a guitar game, music player AND a disco ball in there.

Finally he just gives up and pays her for the locker.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He always takes the blame for Sam.

It's not a conscious decision, it's more of a reflex because he knows if he doesn't then he's dead to Sam.

Or he doesn't want her in trouble.

Whichever one.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDiE

He doesn't believe in 'Melanie'.

Sam's pulled far too many pranks on him for him to believe that Sam has a twin sister that's the complete opposite of her. However, if Melanie does exist, then she annoys him to death because she's just like the girly Sam.

He doesn't really think it's Sam though because the sparks that were present during the kiss he and Sam shared weren't there in the kiss he shared with Melanie.

He wants a twin now.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Carly finds out he kissed Sam.

Freddie doesn't believe that it's that big of a deal (considering Carly's kissed tons of guys he knew nothing about) but she's pretty upset. In the end, she asks he and Sam if they liked it.

Freddie doesn't know how to respond. Thankfully, Spencer bursts in and grabs his banjo.

_Phew, saved by the Spencer._

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He dances with Carly after the stupid school dance.

He doesn't feel anything (it's much like dancing with someone you don't like that way) and he wants more than anything for Carly to let go of him. They could both forget this ever happened.

Then he sees Sam standing in the doorway, looking hurt, and that image stays in his head for the rest of the night. He hurriedly tells Carly he has to go, he has a curfew (he's lying, it's something he learned from Sam) and leaves hastily.

He would much rather have been dancing with S…someone else.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie moves out of his apartment.

He's decided that even if he knows the reasoning behind his mom's over protectiveness it's gone too far this time. Freddie manages to get a crappy apartment very cheap and moves in quickly.

Carly thinks the place is okay, Sam hates it.

His mom promises to be less protective and he moves back in.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Sam and Carly are fighting again.

He has no idea who to choose this time because he's pretty sure he's gaining feelings for Sam but Carly still thinks he loves her. She proves this by saying, "Freddie loves me!" in a possessive way and though Freddie feels he should scream, "I'M OVER YOU!" he doesn't.

He's scared to death when they almost fall off the window washers' platform, more scared for Sam than for Carly (though Sam never needs to know that).

He pulls Sam in and everything's okay again.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie dates Carly.

He saves her from getting hit by a taco truck, and then Carly kisses him. He can feel the obvious jealousy emanating off of Sam, and he hates it, but he needs a good reason before he breaks up with Carly. Sam gives it to him.

He hates kissing Carly (it's like kissing his sister) and he has _no _feelings for her whatsoever so using Sam's excuse he breaks up with her.

He's pretty relieved.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He finds out Sam used to do beauty pageants.

He finds this funny (not in a mean way) but just because she's _Sam _and she's usually so against everything girly. He has to laugh, then she shoots a lentil into his eye.

She wins, as he knew she would.

She never fails to surprise him.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie's the first to know Sam's in juvie.

He's kind of mad at her for ruining this episode of iCarly (iCarly's not funny without her helping out Carly) but he gets over his childish anger and goes to visit her in juvie.

She's never looked so happy to see him.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie (and Sam, and Carly) are kidnapped by a psycho freak.

He's scared (mainly because he knows Sam's claustrophobic and will probably claw her way out of there, either that or kill Freddie). Also Sam's hungry…and there seems to be no food anywhere near…and Sam doesn't particularly object to cannibalism.

When they finally get out, Freddie's never been so happy to see Gibby…or a bathroom.

Hey, Gibbys are good for some things.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

Freddie begins to date Sabrina online.

When he meets her in person, he discovers she's insanely tall- like six feet tall or more. Much taller than Freddie. But he keeps her around because she seems nice, she seems to make Sam jealous, and he doesn't want to hurt her or Gibby (she's Gibby's cousin). In the end, they end up breaking up because she discovers his feelings for Sam.

Whether indirectly or directly, Sam Puckett ruins all of his relationships.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He is there when Carly's room burns down.

Afterwards, he, Sam, Spencer and Gibby help to rebuild it with the money from Carly's antique watch. He sees the jealous look on Sam's face, and he knows that she's mad because Carly always gets what she wants and he's noticed Sam hardly ever does.

He wants to make it better, but he doesn't know how.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

At the wedding of two iCarly viewers, Sam and Freddie slow dance.

Her arms are around his neck and his hands are on her waist. She smiles softly up at him. "You know, for a dork, you're not half bad."

He squeezes her a little, making her laugh. "You know, for a blonde-headed demon, you're pretty great, Princess Puckett."

Her face twists into a grin. "You're awesome."

"Don't you ever forget it," he tells her, pulling her closer.

He doesn't think she returns his feelings, so this is his one chance to hold her.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He dates Carly again.

He doesn't know why. She just asked him out and he agreed, not wanting to hurt her, and now they're romantically involved even though he knows he has no feelings for her.

He sees the pain painted so obviously on Sam's face and _he wants to make it stop._

So he breaks up with Carly.

FREDDIE FREDDIE FREDDIE

He learns Sam's in the hospital.

He doesn't even think about it, he just grabs his mother's keys and takes off for the hospital she's in. Grabbing the clipboard, he learns her room number and tears off for the top floor.

He sees her there, covered in blood. He knows that guys aren't supposed to cry (and if she saw him like this, she'd laugh at him) but he cries anyway. "Sam, how could you do this?"

"I'm still alive, you dork," Sam whispered feebly, trying to smile. "I didn't do it…I got hit by a truck."

He strokes her cheek softly. "I wasn't there to save you."

"I don't need saving," she lies.

"Even by me?" He widens his eyes innocently.

"I'm strong, Freddie," she uses his real name for once. "I'm a strong girl."

"Can't argue with that," he reasons, then leans down and kisses her on her soft lips. Unable to smack him because of the casts holding her back, she glares at him.

"What was that?"

Freddie smirks back. "What do you think?"

She laughs. "You kissed me, nub, and I can't punch you."

"Which is exactly why I did it," Freddie reminds her.

The smile vanishes from her face. "To annoy me?"

"Of course not," he scowls, insulted she would even think that. "No, it's because I love you and I figured that if I did it any other time you would punch me."

"Untrue," she protests. "Because I love you too, you stupid dork."

She leans in and kisses him again, and he doesn't even care that she called him a dork. He never expected her to stop.

Because no matter what he does, in her eyes he'd always be a dork.

But he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Crappy, I know. But I hope you liked it! It took FOREVER to write and is by far my longest oneshot. By the way, iBreak a Promise will be updated tomorrow! Well, review so I know what you thought!**


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